Who among you here believes that first love never dies? Who among you here believes that love begins with hatred? And how many of you believe that first impression doesn’t last? And how many of you regret it because they didn’t show how much they care and love the person while they are still with them? Some people believe in love at first sight but for me love will grow like a plant and bloom at the right time. And also love starts in hatred. Because it’s happened to me. Throughout this journey of life we meet many people along the way. Each one has a purpose in our life. Some hurt us and give us lessons, some are meant to accompany us through our journey. No one we meet is ever a coincidence. Like me. There was once a person who told me that he didn’t want to be my sun who brightened my day but he wanted to be my moon that lights up my darkest night. And I told him that it cost his whole life to prove it.

I met this guy when i was only 15, He is 10 yrs. older than me, and he is the oldest brother of my childhood friend and the son of the neighbor and best friend of my aunt the 3rd sibling of my mother, who is living in Bulacan, a Province near Manila. He is half Korean and half Filipino. My first impression of him is his arrogant, cold and hard hearted, conceited, although I can’t deny his good looks with perfect body and height. I first saw him when I went to the house of my friend before going to Manila to start living alone at my apartment, to talk about our plan on our first day of school but accidentally ran into him. Our first meeting really not a good one because he accused me as an intruder, As I approach the house the main door is open so I go directly inside and when no one is downstairs I tiptoed going upstairs to make fun of my friend but someone grabs me at my back, covers my mouth and pins me down on the sofa then handcuffs me. I struggle using my full force but he is stronger than me. So I bite him and shout and tell him I’m a friend of Hanna but he doesn’t listen to me. He called the subdivision guard and the neighbors started to gather at the front of their house because of the commotion. My friend who slept like a log just woke up and ran down to see the commotion that we created. ” Oppa stop, she is my friend!! What are you doing to her?” She exclaimed while rubbing her eyes. That’s the time he realized me but still didn’t remove my handicap. His parents arrived running coming from there morning exercise followed by the subdivision guard that he called. His mom ran to me and hugged me when she saw me crying. And his father told him that I’m not a bad person, I’m the niece of the best friend of his mom and neighbor who happened to be a childhood friend of his youngest sibling and going to the same university with his sister. Everyone is laughing about that accident. I’m very ashamed and at the same time annoyed because he didn’t even say sorry. It seems like nothing to him. Since then I told myself I won’t go to my friend’s house again if he is there.

I go back to my aunt’s house even though my friend Hanna, his brother Hubert and his parents ask me to stay and have breakfast with them. I still left because I couldn’t bear to see that arrogant man. My aunt asked me what happened but I just ran up and fixed my things. I don’t want to stay even more hours in that place. While packing my friend Hanna arrived. “Hey, what are you doing? Why you’re packing your clothes and what do you want when you came at the house? She ask. “Nothing really important. I just want to tell you that I will go to my apartment at Manila later this afternoon and I want to ask you what’s your plan and if you can come to me to fix my apartment even just 2 nights staycation before the start of our University life.” I said “yes why not it’s my pleasure to help you and by the way sorry for what happened earlier.” She happily replied. I took a deep breath then answer” what can i say, it’s not your fault why you’re saying sorry by the way who is that guy, we’ve known each other for a long time i didn’t know you have another brother.” Before she answer she walk to the left side of my bed, takes my pillow on her lap and lays her back on my head board. “It’s a long story dear, so let me sit,” she said while grinning at me. I’m looking at her wondering and my eyebrow almost meets its other. “Hey beshie don’t look at me like that.” Actually I didn’t know that he was my real brother. I thought before he was just our cousin, I just learned lately when we visited Korea that he is my biological brother, our eldest sibling. Actually he’s the one I’m telling you that makes my nose bleed when he’s talking to me. she continually tells while I burst into laughter because I remember her story about meeting her cousin.” So his the Savage king? I ask between my laughter while closing my luggage “yeah exactly!” She exclaimed. Don’t worry, you can come to my apartment if you need to defrost from being frozen with your frozen king so go back to your house and pack your things. I need to go there early before my parents find out that I’m staying at my aunt’s house for a long time”. I told her so she immediately ran back home and after 2 hrs we were ready to go.

While waiting at the bus stop, a royal blue colored sports car stopped in front of us. Then the driver opened the window and said ” Hey 2 young ladies get in! I don’t have time! He commanded us in a powerful voice, some bystanders were staring at us wondering, and then we saw Hanna dad coming toward us. “Get in the car, I told him to drop you on his way,” he said and helped us put our bags in the compartment of the car. “Behave both of you, Hanna, enjoy your staycation and Nabi take care and good luck!” He said while waving and we both said thank you. While closing the door we hear the driver whispering. “Seems like they will not see each other forever” he said then Hanna answered him back “What’s your problem about that Oppa, you need to eat sugar for you to have sweetness on your body hello. Hearing Hanna said makes me grinned but I stopped immediately when I saw him staring at me in the rear view mirror.

It’s a long hour of travel from Bulacan to Manila because of traffic so I and my friend fall asleep. We just woke up when we heard a loud voice “wake up sleeping beauties, it has fire!! He said while laughing.. I almost had a heart attack because of that and Hanna cried because of the shock. But he’s a psychotic brother. Instead of asking sorry for what he did he just took out our bags inside the apartment and talked to my landlady happily like nothing happened. Because of Hanna’s anger she runs to his brother and kicks him but to my amusement he speed fluctuates on his sister blows. “How did you know my apartment? I didn’t tell you “You told me while you were sleeping” he sarcastically replied. Then I left.

He really makes my blood boil. After a 2 day staycation in my apartment, Hanna went back home and I’m starting living alone. This time i realized living alone is really hard although you have all the freedom to do whatever you want there still a feeling of loneliness and longing. And at this point of time I remember what my mom always told me, ” No man is an Island” but although sometimes I’m lonely and I want to be with my friend on weekend i still don’t want to go to their house or even visit the house of my aunt in Bulacan because i don’t want to see and meet the sarcastic cold hearted man.

Finally, it’s the first day of school. New chapter of my life as a student. New school, new set of friends and professor. Mixed emotions and thoughts running into my mind that I don’t even notice my friend already besides me. “Hey Nabi what are you thinking? Miss me bestie?” She asked. “Nothing, just random thoughts,” I answered. ” I have something to tell you. She continues while preparing to sit beside me. “My eldest brother is a part time professor here in our university. I just learned this morning and also except for being a Traditional Korean Medicine doctor, he has a PhD in Psychology. Nabi what if… she could no longer continue what she was saying because the door of our classroom opened and it spat out the devil we are talking about. We looked at each other and both exclaimed. No!!! Some of our classmates look at us with amusement. We just smiled at them then I just caressed my face with both palms in annoyance. “Good morning class I’m Harold Kim, your professor in Psychology 1 this semester. Then he smiled sweetly. Ok class before anything else please introduce yourself first for us to get to know each other. I heard him saying. It’s my first time to stare at him and study his looks. He has a cute dimple on his left cheeks. Yes he’s a good looking guy, tall and I can say physically he has all the characteristics of a guy that every woman wants but what I don’t like about him is that he has a fairer and smoother skin than me. On my side it’s so humiliating and I don’t like a guy has fairer and smoother skin than me because for me they are gay and it makes me insecure on my looks. Silly me right?. While looking at him intently I didn’t notice that it’s my turn to introduce myself.

I just went back to reality when Henna tapped me on my shoulder. While I’m introducing myself he come towards me after i finish he said “Am i that good looking yeobo (honey in Korean) and you can’t stop looking at me.” He said and everyone laughed except Hanna who was shaking her head. I glared at him If only looks can murder a person he have been died a million times. I really hate him. I can’t wait until the end of the class. I like Psychology, only the professor makes me bored. When the bell rang for the next subject I whispered to myself. Thank God I didn’t realize I exclaimed so loud enough to hear the student around me. Henna looked at me and said We are really best buds. Then we high five. “Class dismiss see you next meeting. And you 2 he pointed at us then pointed to his 2 eyes. Means he’s watching us. So as a respect we just bow our heads and walk away.

Studying at Far Eastern University went well for me just not seeing the devil who is always taking out the demons on me. And one day at our lunch break me and Hanna decided to go to the school canteen rather than going out to the campus before going to our respective class because we have different major subject because our course is different I’m from mass communication and she is BS in Accountancy While we are having our lunch, Professor Harold approached us and gave us a coupon to redeem every time we eat at the canteen. Then he came close to me, messed up my hair and pinched the temple of my nose while asking “yeabo how do I look he whispered while laughing. ” wait for me both of you at the car park after your last period ok” he said then left. I really felt gross and he really made my blood boil. Because of anger i ask Hanna to eat ice cream at the mall besides our University because we still have 1hr left before our next class but we were distracted and almost forget the time so we run as fast as we could to go back at the campus luckily when i arrived at my class the professor still not around so i just seat slowly only to get shock again when i saw my professor in front it’s the Devil i don’t want to encounter and His smiling at me. I glared at him and look to another direction and told myself “Fighting!! And try to calm myself. He’s really out of my league. I don’t like his attitude. I can’t cope up with it or maybe I’m just not used to dealing with this kind of attitude. His conceited, arrogant, sarcastic, cold hearted, And also have a perverted manners that what i think before, Like grabbing my hand and hold my hand in public and didn’t care about the people around, calling me (yeobo) Korean means honey, Ahjumma means Mrs. in English or Halmaene means grandma in English, and there are times he will hug me and massage my hair that makes it messy then smile and poke my nose. It’s so weird and gives me Goosebumps thinking of it. No peaceful days when we are together because he keeps on teasing me or making fun of me. We are like Tom and Jerry. For me the world is so small and the day is long when I’m with him and i can’t wait to finish this semester because he is my professor in two of my subject and on top of it he become my guardian and driver because he always asked me to wait with her sister and drop me by and pick me up at my apartment on their way back home and school. If I refuse he will tell my uncle and my dad. I really think that semester is the worst semester of my life and meeting him is my punishment for being hard headed. I really hate him for being my professor.

After the class while waiting for him at the car park with my friend Hanna, with whom his youngest sister ” How was my brother, he’s still teasing you? “She asked me “What do you think? Just an inch I almost took out the devil on me, “I replied. She laughed and said, ” I wish and everyone in the family wants you to be our sister in law. “she added while laughing ” What!!?? You’re going to be kidding me. You want me to go crazy right? I exclaimed… “No, I’m not kidding. Honestly Nabi we know it’s others since we were young and you know also that me and my siblings did not grow up together, my 2 brothers grew up and stays in Korea. And if we go there for a vacation our eldest whom i know before is my cousin is very rare to stay with us or meet with us because of his busy and hectic schedule so I don’t really know his personality. I’m just relying on what my 2nd brother Hubert told me.” Hubert said since our eldest sibling, Harold met you and he returned to be a human. He starts to live and act like he used to be when they were young he misses him like that. I look at her straight at her eyes while my eyes questioning her and my eyebrows almost meet each other. She smiled and said I don’t know either but this is for sure my brother likes you and we love that. Shut up!!! I reply then give her a deadly glance and she keeps on laughing. Then a voice coming from the outside told us coldly “Is there something funny inside my car young ladies? He asks while entering the car. Close your windows and let go. He continued when we didn’t reply. When we arrived while going out of his car he said in a sweet medium voice but clear enough to hear for the people in front of my apartment and passerby ” Yeabo (honey) don’t sleep like a log. I don’t want to wait for so long. Saranghe with a cheesy smile. Because of anger I bang the door of the car and ran inside and didn’t reply to my friend saying goodbye anymore. I saw people whispering and looking at me. I run to my apartment and throw myself on the bed and cry because of anger.

Seeing him and being with him for me is really a punishment. Like one time after an interview with the prisoner as a requirement for our journalism class we had a big argument because I told something to the prisoner whom he thought I must not do. He said that journalism or mass communication is not for me. I must control my emotions, I must separate my feelings from my job. A good journalist must be tough outside even though they are bleeding inside because as a journalist we must not be biased. He kept on nagging at me until his sister arrived. And told him to stop. Me and his sister get inside the car and there I cry and scream. What he said hurt me a lot. Then his sister told me ” you know i never seen my brother get mad for a long time as I remember the last time i saw him like that is when my Unnie(older sister or cousin) Jina killed herself in front of him. Our cousin is a victim of bullying and harassment. She couldn’t cope with it so she killed herself. My brother loves her a lot because she and my grandparents are the only ones who were with them when my parents and I came to the Philippines because of our business. And actually my 2nd sibling said you’re like our cousin Jina. Some of your attitudes and manners are almost like her so maybe my brother sees unnie on you. So please, I’m the one who’s asking sorry for what he did. I just look at her and answer “ok but I’m still mad at him and ask her if he really your brother? Why is he different from you? It seems like he’s not normal? About my question she burst with laughter and started to continue her story. My brother is a victim of bullying also in Korea. He suffered from bulimia and after the death of my cousin grandma send him to psychiatrist because of trauma and depression when he already healed they sent him here at The Philippines and he is 15 yrs. old already but when his here he excluded himself he ask my parents to send him to boys school so my parents decided to send him back to Korea. Actually I didn’t really know his real attitude because we didn’t grow up together. My 2nd brother and my cousin know him more and most of them said he returned to himself since he met you. So you’re saying I’m the reincarnation of your cousin? I ask her with a smirk. She laughed so loud and told me crazy. While we both laugh, someone opens the door of the car holding a Starbucks coffee when we look at its cold blooded brother holding 3 cups of Starbucks. ” Oppa, is this your peace offering? Hanna asked his brother while looking at me. “Just drink it and stop talking he said to her and sit at the driver seat and start to drive. On the way back home no one tried to say a single word until we arrived in my apartment. See you tomorrow, sorry I went overboard. You did well today. But please reflect on what you did. Also I heard him saying while I’m going down the car.. After he closed his window and waited for me to get in before they left.

That night I couldn’t sleep, what Hanna said kept running through my mind. That man started to mess with my peaceful mind that very night. Thinking and imagining how Hannas brother went through to get into where he is now. But still I feel mad at him. His words hurt me a lot. So i told myself i will prove to him that I can do it. I will be a good journalist someday. And also there is a part of me that I want to get to know more so I started to dig for some information about him and I started on social media hoping to find something. I promise myself I will do anything in my power to know his weakness so that I can manage to bite him. And get revenge on what he’s doing to me. I know thinking that getting even is not good but I’m really angry at him at that time. I need to get to know that mysterious man’s personality.

To carry out my plan properly I pretend to be nice and good to him. I became a good and obedient student, especially in his subject. As we talked and I got closer to him I saw the hidden and other side of him. He’s different from the first impression I had of him. I wanted to believe that only I knew this side of him. I feel like something new is about to begin. I’m probably not mistaken. The more I get to know him and closer to him my anger fades away and my feelings for him drastically change into admiration. There I realize that you we can’t judge the book by its cover. That people always have a child inside of them and men are more fragile than women. They just only show it to the person whom they are comfortable with. His a loving, caring responsible and protective brother by showing it in action not in words. His patience and understanding too. There my heart soften and started to fell in love to him. I’m scare about my feelings to him go deeper so I avoided him. Luckily the semestral break is approaching and the end of the semester is waving so it’s not so hard for me to avoid him. But one day before the sem break I received a bunch of tulips from an anonymous sender. Nabi,
Congrats your one on the Deans list. Keep up the good work. I met you when you’re still a cocoon but now you grew up and spread your wings like a wonderful and beautiful butterfly that everyone admires. Your name really suits you. Seeing you and hearing your voice makes my day. I know you’re still young but I can’t wait to tell you what I really feel towards you. I hope to see you at the FEU chapel canteen at around 4pm after your last period on Saturday.
Love
Anonymous
This is what written on card with the flower. I’m wondering how that person could know my favorite flower and even my address. I had a mixed emotion on this. So when the day arrived I’m so nervous only to get shock when i saw him and his sister my friend on that canteen. I ask Hanna and she pointed on her brother. He ask us to walk going to a restaurant at the mall and he will tell me something. There he told me that he has a feeling to me at very beginning He just try to hide and plan to bury it because I’m still young and so immature. I’m shocked by his confession. I never thought we felt the same but as a lady in the Philippines whom they known to be modest. I still don’t want to admit it. I want him to court me first and also I’m scared because of the school policy that there is no student and professor relationship. So I told him i will think first and he said he can wait. From that time he keeps of sending me cards and flowers. And one day before the second semester while I’m at the province i receive a call from his sister if I can go back to Manila earlier before the start of the semester because they are having a big party and she wants me to be there. So I ask my parents to go to Manila early. When I arrived at their house Harold immediately grabbed my hands and guided me to go upstairs to their roof deck. He asks for forgiveness for all the things he has done to me intentionally and unintentionally. He said he just wanted me to be strong and mature enough to face all the storm that come in my life. And he also said that he wants needs my answer to him if i like him or not before he fly back to Korea. Harold told me that they are having party because he and Hubert need to go back to Korea because their grandparents are sick. Harold need to comply for his mandatory military service and also will become an army doctor then Hubert needs to look at their business. So no if and buts i accepted him. Long distance relationship is hard but we manage to get through it. Despite of me being still young and immature He always free his time for me, because he always told me that “if you love someone you will always make time for them no matter how busy you are. Except for my 2 brothers, my father and my grandpa he is the first guy whom I felt respected, treasured and cherished. The feeling of assurance and security that whatever happened he’s always there for you. He never let me doubt even a second because he showers me with love and care. He’s a giver, keeper and protector. I admit I promise myself that whatever happens I will grow old with this man because for me we are the match made by heaven. The feeling that when you’re in love you’re on cloud nine or everything is so colorful.

Everything seems perfect and never end but as they said “no perfect relationship and life may test you how strong your love for each other is. One day 2 women from Korea called me and said he has kids with them. The other one is a boy and the second is a girl. At first I doubted so I asked him and he confirmed but he said it was a mistake and he didn’t love those women but he didn’t deny his kids either he planned to tell me but he needed a perfect time to tell it. I got mad at him for a week. He kept on reaching out but I didn’t answer him until one day his sister called me and said his brother was one of the casualties at the border of north and South Korea. 24 hrs. past and they couldn’t find him so they declared him missing. I don’t know what i will feel at that moment. Seems like my whole world turns upside down. I run to the church near the radio station I’m working luckily my shift already end at that day before I got the call. I kneel down and ask and promise to God that if ever he is find alive i will forgive him no if and buts I will leave everything behind and accept him and his past i cry until my tears dry. I regret what I did for the past few days specially after reading his last message after the incident.

My beloved, I love you and I always do. Meeting and being with you is the best days of my life. You know that we are in the battle ground right now, yes its a silent and peaceful war but we don’t know what’s in the mind of the other side. If I’m lucky enough to survive if any minute they will attack i will come to you but if not all i ask is your forgiveness and live your life to the fullest i love you.

It’s too hard to bare reading those message. I hope that he will come back to me. But before i finish my prayer my phone rang again his sister told me happily that they found him. His safe and sound. After hearing those i send him a message immediately that anytime he can visit to the Philippines and i forgive him and even his not asking yet I am gonna say yes to his marriage proposal. Now i can proudly say we are happily married. And i really thanks God for giving us another chance.

The post is submitted by Veronica Mateo. Follow The Mood Recipes for more posts.