Hello friends, let’s put a hold on the story of my marriage.
I came across a quarreling couple today, they were arguing while I overheard them (had no option). That moment it struck in my mind, do opposite always attract? They both were correct from their own stands, but coming to that mutual point is not possible most of the time without a minor compromise, right?
Hello friends, I am back after a break, and welcome to this blog.
We all must have heard about this relationship mantra: Opposites attract.
And in my life, which is not that big, fancy, goal oriented, but an observant one, the greatest observation I had, Opposites do attract, but don’t last.
Surely there are so many exceptions but let’s break down why I feel this, and what those exceptional couples are doing.
Example scenario: Boy of Bangalore, falls in love with a girl of (say) Lucknow. Girl is now in Bangalore for job, and there they met.
Surely, they are the perfect couple and no one can see anything wrong in that couple. Now, in a year mutual differences became prominent, boy feels he is being too much asked for commitment, his personal space is too much being taken over by some motherly care. While the girl feels, this guy is afraid of commitment. Too much career focused, not bothered about me, my family, and my responsibilities. Why it’s so easy for him to sleep and so hard for him to commit.
Now let us break the phases they went through and why this happened.
< The first thing, they grew up in two different back grounds, one has seen her mom being a house wife busy to make a house, a home. Her father being engaged in a business rarely found time for family. She knows family values, the ethics and hospitality we Indians inherit, and suddenly turned out to be a perfect wife material.
While the guy, has seen his father struggling with jobs, mom being busy with her own circle, argue at home, house party being so common along with loud music.
So, when they fall in love, the guy was in need for that missing love and care which he never got from his family. A place to vent out, a silent listener. While for the girl, that’s a new world, so colorful, so fun loving that she got dragged into that world holding his hands.
They both fulfilled each other’s needs, and then, when their own back grounds, and up bringing dawned, they suddenly found each other being so incompatible.
So, here I feel, opposites do attract but the decision to live together forever will actually spoil two individual lives and their own morals.
Let’s move to another story: Here the guy and girl both are working. Coming from city life, you may consider Bangalore, Pune, Mumbai anywhere.
They met, and slowly fall for each other. One year of steady relationship, and then their differences led to sad consequences.
The guy was thinking the girl is fearless, does not get dominated by anything, has an opinion for everything, booze a lot, party a lot, bought a scooty and went for a drive to Nandi Hills without even asking for his permission.
The girl was thinking the guy suddenly started to behave like his father and does not care about her freedom. While he is bothered that she continues to work, but finance management should be done by him, he should always be involved in every circle she meets and greets.
So, here I feel, opposites do attract but comes with a factor > Compromise
Neither of them compromised and the guy was not ready to handle modern day girls.
No one’s fault is there, they both had different expectations from each other, and no one came to a mutual point of understanding, which I know is not possible all the times
There are many, many, many other examples, while each break up story is different, and each story has two sides, the one from the girl the other from the boy.
I just took two examples, to point out opposites do not long last even if they attract.
It becomes very tough to lead a life with differences of opinions when the difference is like north and south poles.
Also, if you ask why there are some couples who are together in-spite of their differences?
The answer is that they know their difference so well that have become used with that. They know, in which situation which partner needs to sacrifice/ compromise. Not everybody is ready for that.
Also, I would like to highlight, there are still many, out there, putting up a fake smile even if they are un-happy. That one, has now become permanent.
I personally feel, we should avoid getting into a relationship where both the parties are that different. You both may love the same movie, same ice cream flavor, many things in common, which may lead to lack of excitement, but trust me, peace will prevail rather than cat fights due to differences.
I am signing off for the time. To all, best wishes.
This post is written by Amrita Paul. Follow The Mood Recipes for more blog posts and articles.
I’m happy that you are back! I missed your posts!
:) yeaaa
Eek, this hits home. My husband and I are very opposite, but luckily we get along pretty well.
Nice informative post
My husband are the same personality but I’m an awkward introvert and he’s a socialite. We have the same energy and humor but our opposites compliment each other
my husband and I are 100% opposite and have been happily married for almost 7 years! We just enjoy each other and learning from each other every day so it’s fun and exciting to have someone who likes to do stuff I never thought I would do and open me up to new things!
Opposites attract is an interesting concept and you have made a great case.
My husband and I are opposites. I think we complement each other. I am so grateful for him.
My bf and I are totally opposites but we certainly balance each other out. We’re on our 9th year lol
I’ am not relate on this but I think opposite couple are the cutest couple hahaha.
I think it depends on how you are opposite. Opposite morals and values don’t work, however different hobbies and styles do. Thanks for sharing!
Yes,I agree with your view. Thank you for commenting.
Hello.
I agree that opposites don’t always attract. Even if they do attract they are not always met to be together. In some cases it works others it doesn’t. Great post!
Compromise is so important in a relationship when there is no meeting of the minds. It needs to be equal though–the same person can’t give in time after time.
u have mostly put up one side of the story, that is of the boys’ what about the girl? And dont mind after reading the max stuff just one thing comes to the mind, that too in hindi, “dono ekdusre ko acche lage, sab hua lekin jab apne hisaab se saamne wala chalta hua nhi dikha, bore ho gye to bhagaa dia.” typical hook up style stuff.
“u have mostly put up one side of the story, that is of the boys’ what about the girl?” > next time , thank you for feedback.For the rest, one this is a blog to vent few emotions we feel, second , everyone’s view point is different, no two individuals are same and similarly every relationship is unique by its own. Once again, thank you for your feedback.
You don’t need to find the opposite that attracts you, it’s possible but with other factors, but if you do, then you need to work hard on that relationship, you need to learn about them, how they lived, what they do, what they love, but apart from that you also need to find the opposite that makes you whole, sure if you come from different backgrounds, different place of life and what not it will be hard, but if you care about that person there is nothing that can come between you.
Uhm, My husband and I are the most extremely different people in the world and yet we love each other just the same. :)
This is so true, but I believe love superceed everything. Once we learn to love very well our partner hobbies will also became ours
Most of the relationships depends on the compromise. But you are right we should avoid that type of relation where there is difference.
Everyone has different personality so nothing in this world is exactly the same. It’s learning to understand each other and adjusting to the differences.
My take on this is a little bit different. I still am convinced that every relationship is a unique case. Sometimes, opposites do attract and sometimes opposites just repel each other. I really get it has something to do with comfortability and also compromise. If both parties are willing to support each other’s differences then I guess the relationship is bound to work. Just my two cents though.
“I still am convinced that every relationship is a unique case. ” yes, I completely agree with you :)
Cultural difference is always a problem in any relationship. It happens here in Japan too.
I can relate! I think I fell for my husband because he is so unlike myself and brings out things in me I didn’t know about but at the same time we tend to fight a lot because we see things so differently. It can be difficult but it keeps things interesting.
Thank you for sharing your feelings :)
When it comes to love, there are no rules :)
I disagree…as long as you give each other space…things are great
These are just my thoughts. Each and everyone has different view points .
Not sharing the same core values is going to cause issues somewhere down the road, such an insightful post!
Nice article. Love and care each other. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you :)