We all need something in a relationship, be it best friends or the better half and quite honestly most of us are emotionally needy sometimes or the other.
It happens most probably we are going through a difficult phase in our life or when it is challenging. Just a hug or a little cuddle can make our day, we need a bit more than moral support, and I get it. Even I feel the same.
But, on the other hand, being emotionally needy most of the time in a relationship can result in severe complications in a relationship. If you are reading this blog post, there’s a high chance you already got the point of what I am talking about.
Being emotionally needy means that the person in question is constantly in want of affection, attention, and/or emotional support that it’s all they are. I mean, almost everyone needs all that at some point, but these people kind of pushing it.
These are the kind of people who doesn’t only want your affection, but they want all of it.
That, of course, means trouble.
Well, I asked some of the bloggers this question: What will you do, if your partner is too “emotionally needy” in a relationship?
Dishari says,
Well, if I give my insights on this, I would be a bit different from others. When you’re loving someone giving all your heart and soul, that person does understand it. Even a toddler knows who loves him/her. If my partner is emotionally needy, I must understand the first thing that there is something that has been keeping her agitate and a result out of it, she has been asking for many a thing that seems like she has become demanding or clingy or annoying.
About being fragile, if I keep my partner at the top of my priority list, If I keep on making her understand that nothing can apart us, If I can assure her proving every single day that there is nothing more important than her, if I don’t leave a single chance to love her in a way she is, she wouldn’t be a vulnerable.
I am sure. When we get into a relationship new, we generally don’t have any complaints, nagging etc. Our partners demand then also, they ask for attention then also, they cry on little things then also, but we do handle it with bulk of love and care and later, the same things turn out the reason headache and we tag it in a term of ’emotionally needy’.
Clearly, a person becomes emotionally needy when they feel like that they’re less prioritized, cornered, ignored by them who had showered love, care and promises of being together forever few years/months back. Then they become fragile. They start annoying raising different issues. It is just because YOU’RE NOT THE SAME YOU WERE!!!
Pratiksha says,
I won’t be in relationship with someone who is over clingy. Everything has a limit and even relationship does. Everyone deserves peace and space. The partner needs to understand.
Monidipa says,
First, I’ll try the talking therapy on the person. I know at first it will work but I also know that after some time that person will again start the same drama again. So, when next time the person starts the same drama I’ll bade a goodbye to that person.
How to control this need?
Figure out anxiety and confidence issues. These emotions will continue, we all have our own anxieties, jealousy, and the feeling of fear of getting deserted, but that doesn’t mean we have to nag about it to the partners about it. You need to work on your self-esteem and confidence level, your partner will help you at every possible step, but don’t make it compulsory for the one.
Don’t suffocate your loved one. Give your loved one some space, maybe you are deeply in love with your partner, but spending 24 hours with one person is not considered healthy. Fetching compliments and asking for it all the time doesn’t work out. Give your partner some space and independent time, it will be beneficial for both in the long term.
Trust your partner. We all have a past, a bad one most probably. Everyone is not the same, not everyone comes in our life to break the heart. Honestly, not everyone wants to leave you or get in to your pants. There are some people who will come to your life to bring the best in you and will be beside you till the end. You don’t have to ask for it neither you will need the other one to reassure you multiple times.
Take a break from the damn Social Media. Multiple studies (Psypost Psychologytoday) have proved that social media boosts the psychological complications between couples, friends, and all healthy relationships. We start comparing our lives to some influencers and popular people and complicating our own life. The reality is, famous people have their own life and it is not luxury but a necessity for them to maintain a high standard of lifestyle.
Spend time with your best friends. Apart from your relationship, you have a life too. You have your family members, parents and best friends. You must have noticed after coming into a relationship, how the time you spend with other people in life falls short. They start missing your company and finally, it creates an awkward situation where it is very difficult to get them back in the comfortable position previously you were.
Get some professional help. If you think this need has gone out of hand, and you are not able to handle yourself, you need to get some professional help. If something bad happens in the relationship, it will be hard for you to get yourself together. Please feel free to get in touch with a psychiatrist or psychologist, so that they can help you. It is neither foolish nor shameful to work on our own shortcomings.
To conclude, Everything and everyone has a limit, do not suffocate your partner or push him to such limits where there’s no coming back. Having said that, I don’t mean that you should not expect or ask anything from your partner. Just keep things in check, because the words spoken by the loved ones, have a very deep impact and it may lead to a big impact. In the end, you won’t be able to understand how you landed in this situation.
References:
Elitedaily
bustle
psychologytoday
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You have rightly mentioned that being emotionally needy is situational. You can not be emotionally needy all your life – that is sort of pushy and as you mentioned, suffocating. Having said that, the person in need must reach out for some professional help too. It is important to understand that no one should ever overstay their welcome and fight their own emotional/mental battle.
Completely agreed. Thanks for dropping by.
Have a nice day!
I agree with all the thoughts here but there must be a reason why the particular person is behaving like that. If the person is a brat and accustomed to get everything for themselves then it’s better not to give them even 1% of chance but there are also times where I have seen that due to loneliness and pain in their past people have become like this. In these cases make them visit a therapist, it will help…
True. In most of the cases, there should be a reason for which someone behaves like that, forgetting that this attitude may suffocate the other one in the relationship. Professional help is one of the most effective ways to control this situations.
Thanks for answering the question and dropping by Moni, have a nice day.
I can imagine how being emotionally needy can complicate and even break a relationship. Your advice on spending time with friends and most of all, seek professional help is very good. This neediness comes from somewhere, and only a professional can help solving the issues.
True.
Thanks for dropping by Joanna. Have a nice day!
Am not sure what I would do if I hard a needy partner,one thing for sure is that I don’t like my partners suffocating me.
Exactly, no one wants that.
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I will be honest I used to be such an emotionally and needy person that I was such a mess. It effect my mental health, relationships and friendships. Since trying to love being alone and trying my best to love my self it has changed my life. I thank you for addressing such matters.
You are welcome.
Thanks for dropping by, have a nice day!
Things should not be too tight and clingy/needy. You should have at least a life outside relationship and the time for your personal growth.
Exactly, independence is very important in every relationship.
Thanks for dropping by, have a nice day!
I love that you touched on this. I do personally feel that emotional neediness is not typically a good thing, but I can see how it can be situational. Ultimately yes, we need to learn how to be completely comfortable independent before we can enter a healthy relationship with someone else.
Exactly, Situational neediness is totally normal. I completely get that, but not all the time because it gets a bit suffocating.
Thanks for dropping by, have a nice day!
My partner now is emotionally needy. It can be difficult to keep up with his demands sometimes, but I understand where he is coming from. He is a soldier and we basically have an LDR connection, and in the past, the same situation has brought him bad luck in relationships. I know he is scared I would be like the others he’s loved before. But I always tell him that I was made a certain way and a cheater, is what I’ll never be.
Anyway, what I can say is that he has gotten better the longer we’ve been together. And hopefully things get even better as he learns to trust me more and more.
Completely understand your situation dear and the way you are handling things is really appreciable.
May God bless you guys.
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I think that emotional neediness doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing, per se. Being emotional can actually be a great thing, so long as that nature does not impede upon someone else’s life in a way that is detrimental to their own emotional well-being.
I will completely agree with you Emily, It is actually a positive thing, but as I said, it should not suffocate the partner.
I’ve dated someone who was emotionally needy in the past and it was very draining to try to always be there for them while trying to mentally be there for myself as well as other people in my life. When someone is emotionally needy they need to take the time to evaluate why they are feeling the way they are feeling. They also have to come to terms with how to manage those emotions in a healthier manner.
So true, there are lot of other ways to evaluate and figure out the problems.
Thanks for dropping by Jasmine, have a nice day!
I think there’s a fine line between being emotionally OPEN and being emotionally NEEDY. I definitely need someone who is healthy emotionally.
So true.
Thanks for dropping by Krysten, have a nice day!
Great points! Being clingy in a relationship can be very destructive. It can definitely be caused by situations — both temporary or permane. I like your steps to deal with being clingy. Thank you!
You are welcome dear.
Thanks for dropping by, have a nice day!
To be able openly share your emotions is an essential part on relationship. Trust and love need to be enveloped in vibes of open inner and outer communication.
Olya agreed. That’s the key to every relation.
Agree with you that being with friends and professional help is beneficial. I have another view too not sure how much I am correct. I feel we need to groom our kids in such a way to be mentally strong and deal situations with smartness and maturity.
Grooming your kids would be a long term investment for making a good person, but that’s completely worth it.
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I’ve been following your blog since last year and I loved the way you guys have organized it
My ex boyfriend falls in this category and it was damn irritating. Supporting ur partner is good, but not all the time
Completely agreed.
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I think it’s okay just in moderation. ? If it’s affecting someone’s job or life already then it’d probably need a help.
So true.
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This was so awesome to read because honestly I dont know if its good or bad. It like 50/50 lol
hahaha.
All I mean is being too much emotionally needy is not good for any relationship.
I totally agree. Too much emotional need in a relationship can be suffocating. One should practice the feeling of trust and emotional security .
That’s true Elizabeth.
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Being needy is somewhat negative. I think all of us like to be emotionally attached. I don’t think there’s anyone who likes someone who is suffocating.
After my husband had a near death medical issue he was exceptionally high intense needy! It was so bad I couldn’t go to work without him texting and calling. He made me a nervous wreck. I had to sit down with him and explain how it was effecting me and he slowly backed off. He isn’t normally needy at all (except with the man cold, lol)
So sorry about hearing it Shannag, hope your husband is well now.
Talking about emotional needy persons, medical emergencies are exceptions and they actually need all kind of support, be it mental, physical or emotional.
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This was a great read. Being emotional is okay but not too needy. Too much of something is definitely a bad sign.
Completely agreed, too much of anything is definitely a bad sign.
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People tend to be emotionally needy in times of loneliness or depression. It is important to help them in such cases.
Absolutely, In these situations we should support them, but not all the time and all of it.
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I think there’s always a reason if a person is acting like that – and it’s very likely fear that they will lose the other.
Yes, Insecurities is a top concern for the people who are emotionally needy.
From my past relationship, I’d say that I was emotionally needy and that eventually brought the relationship to a stop. I learnt my lesson that you have in a relationship, not because you need affirmation from your partner because that will never be provided always. You need to search out yourself and build yourself to the point that you know how to love and affirm yourself. Afterwards, you can get into that a relationship because you’ll be two people who love themselves thus can share the love between each other!
Completely agreed Dalene, Building an own and private space is very important to keep up our identity.
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Very true. You have a claim on your partner’s affection but not on all of it. Its interesting to note how varied the opinions are on this topic.
Yes, exactly. Different people has different opinions and everyone seems to be correct.
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I think that your partner should show you a healthy dose of attention. But I don’t believe in one being emotionally needy. We should all love ourselves and not seek total satisfaction from another individual.
Completely agreed, Our partners to need and deserve attention.
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I agree to all your points.. I experienced some of these emotional issues sometimes but I am able to handle it.
Glad to hear that you were able to make it.
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Well to be honest this is the post I needed to read right now. My mother passed away last october and since then I am looking for someone that could fill the gap created and yes that does male me emotonally needy. When I started reading the post I could relate to the points here. With each day passing I could feel that I am becoming more attention seeking, I try to get out but I just could not help it. My ma was my pacifier and it is being very difficult without her. Sometimes I myself hate being this “needy”
I am so sorry to hear that. Hope your mother is in a better place now.
Nah, I won’t call that needy, It’s a phase, give it some time, it will pass.
I think seeking answers from a professional can help the person feel at ease with themselves. I know a handful of people who can be a bit emotionally overbearing.
I will completely agree, professional help is the best in these cases.