Around one and a half years back, one morning I woke up. The only thought I had in my mind was Why death is a part of our lives? I ended up writing about it and all the responses I have got on that post were enough as evident that none of us can accept the loss of our beloved one. Even though it is as normal as sunrise and sunset, losing one is never acceptable.
Today, all over India there is only one news going on. Famous and one of the finest Bollywood actor, Sushant Singh Rajput has committed suicide. Everyone is shaken with the fact, everyone is clueless about why he had taken such a drastic step in life! The irony is, the same actor made his last movie about suicide awareness and delivered the message to everyone that no matter what, taking away your own life can never be the solution. And today, he had the courage to take his own!
June 2017. I was studying for my semester exam when I got a call from one of my friends and he told me “my brother” committed suicide. Well, he was my junior, and I used to call him my brother and certainly he was no less than a real brother. He was someone so sensitive that loud noise scared him. But that morning he could actually gather enough courage to go to a train line and give his life away underneath those noisy wheels. He used to talk to me almost regularly. We used to discuss football, we discussed our semester holiday plans. The last time we spoke, he told me he would be going home after almost 1.5 years! But he never reached home. His dead body did. After 1.5 years, all that his parents got was two parts of his body!
Till day, I have not understood what all might have had come in his mind all night, what all he might have been through? Wasn’t there a single person whom he could at least talked to once? He could not gather the courage to speak to someone but could gather the courage to kill himself?
Certainly, a person, who has the courage to end his own life, is not a coward one! I repeat, a person who commits suicide, is not a coward! But before they take away their life, why can’t they talk to someone? Or is it just that they are too tired of explaining themselves? What if they have actually tried talking to someone and they never paid attention! What if we have always overlooked what he was going through?
Nowadays, in the name of #suicideawareness we see a lot of posts that if suicide ever crosses your mind, talk to me. What if when the person tried talking we have ignored them? What if our own behavior has pushed them towards that drastic step? The reason behind the depression of these people will die along with the person. You never know, constant body shaming a person can push him towards depression. Relationship failures can push him to depression, family pressuring someone about marriage, or pursuing a career that can push him to depression. A person you are making fun of might be going through depression already and all you are doing is giving him one more reason not to speak out about it.
I have a few pieces of advice for people going through this:
1. If suicidal thoughts are coming in your mind, sweetheart, you really need to talk. Talk to anyone, you have a pet? talk to him, he won’t judge you. Do you have a best friend? Please talk to him. You have nobody and everyone makes fun of you? Please go out and talk to a random stranger crossing by. A stranger is safe, he won’t judge you. Even if he does, he is a stranger, so it won’t matter. You are too shy to talk to anyone? Even with a stranger? We have psychiatrists. Please, I repeat, please consult one. It is absolutely normal to see one, you are not mad if you are going to one. You have to let it out before it eats you up all the way. You have to speak your heart out.
2. Dear one reading this, if a person wants to talk to you, please listen to what he wants to say. For a few minutes, stop being judgemental, just listen. Even if you do not like it, be polite and do not make fun. Bullying someone does not make you a hero any day. Before you make fun of someone’s lifestyle or how they look or how they dress up, please know, that person does give a fuck about it, it is already killing him inside. If you see someone making fun, stop them then and there. Go ahead and compliment the person. You will earn a smile and it won’t cost you anything too. If someone who is a complete stranger stops you and wants to talk to you, please listen. You might be ending up saving a life.
The person who is committing suicide will take away the reason along with them and their family will never know why they did that. They will regret the rest of their lives.
Don’t let a person’s social media posts fool you, the one committing suicide might have had thousands of friends and followers in social media, but none to talk in real. That’s another pain. A few days ago I came across a video where a model kept on posting her smiling pictures on media platforms and that video shows how depressed she was. She used to put a picture of her smiling just to gain some attention, some comments, that gave her a few seconds to smile, but in the end, she killed herself. Sometimes, you make fun of people for posting too much on social media as well. Let’s not do it from today. Let a person do what keeps him involved, busy, and a little happy.
Being rich will not save you from depression, name and fame can’t stop you from killing yourself. Chester Bennington then and now Sushant Singh Rajput has shown us this and this is hitting hard.
Death is a destiny, dying from a disease or an accident where you have no options left is still a loss but different. But one takes away his own life because of depression, we’re talking to that person, listening to him on time could have had saved him, is really unacceptable bitter truth of life.
Can we talk? Can we not?
You want my view as a counsellor I will tell u talking helps. It motivates. U want my view as a person who had battlled depression since the age of 16, I will tell you it is not easy. It is not easy to speak up. Committing suicide is not done on the heat of the moment. It is planned. When a person wants to die, they do it. I had attempted suicide twice. Unfortunately I had been saved.. U wrote that speak up. Trust me in today’s world it is hard to speak up. Because no matter whoever we speak to have a feeling that our problems aren’t serious. We are being childish. See, everyone has problem in their lives. And to them their problem is superior. And they face the biggest problem in the world so when people like us (depressed) seek someone to talk to about things which is bothering us it becomes pointless. Tbh, in India till date psychology or psychiatry is treated as pagalon ka doctor. Or it is said ‘arrey yeh to pagal h’. No one wants them to be called crazy and due to which things get buried inside people and that affects.. And then the pain becomes so worse after a time that a person thinks that it is better to kill themselves. End their lives because the pain will end them. The day we, the world start prioritising others, level of depression may decrease and this concept of mental health should be way more clear to people. It will help them.
That is what the issue is, people in India and in many more countries think that going to a psychiatrist is being mad! I wish we overcome this soon! I hope you are doing better. Everyone’s problem is big, we need to change the mentality and sometime start listening to others issue. That might save a life at times.
You’re so interesting! I do not suppose I’ve read something like this before. So wonderful to find another person with unique thoughts on this topic. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is something that is needed on the internet, someone with a little originality!
This is so sad – social media has projected a different kind of view indeed. Above all. we must take care of our mental health and minimize stressors that detriment our being.
Depression is not something one can talk about lightly and it’s sad that some people do just that. Everyone’s mental health is important and I hope everyone can be kind to one another since we never know what is going on behind closed doors. I too have known several people and friends that have depression and I am glad that they at least have me or someone else to talk to about it and reached out for help. If you see someone showing some signs, please don’t hesitate to reach out to them, it might be the very thing that will save them.