When it involves online dating, anyone can roll in the hay. Sites have popped up for anyone – from teenagers to senior citizens and if you want it, you can find it online.
If you’re already in the online dating scene, check out these common mistakes and make a change if necessary because you don’t want to start a relationship with mistakes. And if you’re not doing it yet but want to, use this advice to get started on the right foot.
Online dating has become so popular these days. Even though online dating has often had a nasty reputation and something many people laugh at, the recognition of online dating continues to surge. And because it grows, the stigma associated with it is vanishing. Most young people see it as better than meeting people at bars, and now the older generation is taking notice and signing up. There are many reasons for this increase.
Here are the most common reasons for Online Dating:
It’s Big Business
In Japan, according to Bff Tokyo, the online dating market is expected to grow 3.32 times from 2017 to 2023 while the global online dating market is expected to grow 1.56 times over the same period. Due to the amount of money involved, there is an enormous amount of selling happening, which accounts for most of the surge in popularity.
Fun fact, the Japanese government supports and funds online dating too due to the declining birthrate in the country. The government encourages people to date online. No wonder it’s becoming very popular.
It’s Fun
The fact is, for tons of busy social people, online dating is fun. Using apps to seek out potential dates is simpler than going out to bars and hoping for luck to strike. For some, using dating apps means the potential for meeting compatible dates goes up and they no longer have to go out alone to find dates and meet people.
You Can Meet People Outside Your Circle
Most people work long hours today. The work hours in Japan are so long that most people just don’t have much time for socializing or meeting people easily outside of work. Using a dating app enables them to meet people outside of their circle faster.
It Helps Introverts Meet People
Some people are introverts and want to meet other people just like them. They want to satisfy those that are compatible with the lifestyle they need to measure.
Meeting people at networking events, at work, or in social situations can be too stressful for them. But, setting up an online dating profile, then going on dates with specific types of people, makes it a lot easier for introverts because they are likely going to be able to meet the right type of person.
You Can Research People before Meeting
Depending on which apps you use, you can typically research people before you ever meet them, thus theoretically increasing your chances of meeting the right type of person. Years ago, a lot of people think online dating is unsafe, but it’s no more unsafe than meeting people in bars or even the grocery store and then going on a date with them. Doing the research can help alleviate fears and avoid time wasters.
It’s Convenient
After an extended day of labour, looking for dates on an app is a lot more convenient than having to get dressed up to go out to a nightclub or planned singles events. Plus, if you do it right, are honest, know who you are and what you want, it’s going to be a lot more convenient and efficient than typical and traditional dating.
People Do Get Married
I had colleagues who got married and there are more couples being made here in Japan because of online dating. It is not a lie that the number of people who meet life partners online will increase as technology improves.
Now that we understood why online dating has become popular, Let’s look into the common mistakes people make. Make no mistakes in repeating these because they don’t do anything good in the long run.
Here are the common mistakes that people make.
1. Not Being Honest
You might think if you’re honest about your situation that simply you will close up prospects. But they’ll find out anyway, so you may as well weed out potential failures right off the bat by always being honest.
You want to set the foundation of your relationship in truth and not lies because when you build your relationship with lies and your partner finds out later, the relationship will crumble instantly. As my elementary teachers would always say to us, Honesty is the best policy.
2. Not Knowing What You Want
It’s hard so far if you’re unsure what you would like. But attempt to study what you would like as you experience dating. If you date someone and that they behave in a way that turns you off, note that and add it to your profile in order that you don’t roll in the hay again.
Not knowing what you really want when dating is like going through a course without a goal destination. So, set up goals for your dates and you should know what results in you want to come out of the process.
Remember that what you want is a big question.
It might be to meet friends. It might be to hook up. It might be to find a life partner. It’s up to you, and there is no right or wrong answer.
3. Not Asking the Right Questions
When you date people, you need to ask them questions about themselves. You know your own deal breakers, so you want to design questions for the person that brings to light any of the deal breakers you have identified in yourself.
For example, if you’re a young woman who doesn’t want to date someone who has a kid, ask them if they’ve been married and have kids before you go on another date or before you even go on the first date.
Also, show curiosity to the other person and be eager to know more about them and not just talk about yourself. Ask questions and be a listener.
4. Not Listening to Your Inner Voice
Everyone has a little inner voice that tells them things and gives them feedback about other people. Most of us ignore it. But when you go on a date, look for red flags and listen to your inner voice. Even if it seems illogical, that voice knows more than you think. If you have social anxiety, you may need to double date with some friends to offer help and support.
5. Posting Your Best or Edited Photo
We’ve mentioned this already. You might think you should post your very best photo to put yourself in the best light. But the truth is, that’s not how you really look and you know it. Post pictures that show how you really look on a normal day. If someone doesn’t like you how you really look, then they’re not worth wasting your time on.
6. Not Reading Profiles
It’s shocking how many people only look at photos to choose a date. Don’t be that person. Read the profiles to find out if you will like them. If they have deal breakers in their profile, say no and move on.
Don’t allow hair colour or height to be a deal-breaker, though. It’s okay to have preferences, but you’re missing out if you let superficial items be deal-breakers.
7. Not Joining Paid Dating Sites
Paid dating sites are a lot better than free ones. You might not want to pay, but the paying part weeds out a lot of people. It doesn’t weed out all scammers, but if something does go wrong it’s often easier to track down the person who has joined a membership than someone you found on Tinder or Grinder.
8. Taking a long time to meet in person
Don’t waste time talking to someone for months on end via chat, text, and Skype. Instead, chat a while and if they seem like a connection, move it to voice, then ask for a date. The sooner you meet in person, the better because that is what’s going to determine the long-term chances of the relationship.
OVER TO YOU
The main thing is to be careful, just like you would if you were meeting any stranger for any reason. Take it slowly and get to know the person. But don’t take it so slowly that you don’t meet in person for months. You actually need to manoeuvre from online to offline within every week or two to make sure that they’re real people that really want what they assert they need in their profiles.
Getting great results in online dating is not impossible, I know this because I know people who have successful relationships from it. The process might be tough but with these tips provided, I hope that it will make it easier for you. Good luck on your journey and remember to avoid these mistakes.
This article is a guest post from Ali of share to Inspire blog. She is a self-growth enthusiast, and she created this platform to inspire and empower fellow women in the aspects of personal growth, productivity, relationships, and finance. Visit share to inspire blog and get some fresh inspiration.
This is true. I actually met someone a year ago on Tinder – we’re talking up until now but we haven’t met. I couldn’t understand the dynamics in our relationship and we’re actually in an on and off setup. It sucks, but I want to meet them soon.
From my experience, online dating apps have been beneficial to me overall. As an introvert, I find it hard to get to know people but online dating provides an alternative to widen my social circles. Eventually, I met my current partner from there and some whom I become good friends with. Overall, I agree we need to identity what we truly want from the apps and take things slow.
Dating without any goals in mind could also be a common mistake while [online] dating. The admiration and respect could be one-sided, hence leads to hurting the other party.