Hey people,
Thank you for coming back to my blog.
Do you know any such person, who was once the closest to you and then if you see the current picture, you are nothing more than strangers? We both really don’t know what happened. There’s no fight or war between us, but things suddenly don’t seem to work anymore. It’s very easy to become best friends and then again back to stranger mode, but any idea why/how does this happen?
The voluntary nature of friendship makes it subject to life’s whims in a way more formal relationship aren’t. In adulthood, as people grow up and go away, friendships are the relationships most likely to take a blow.
We all know these happens to us, and we are aware of the consequences, now let us have a look at the reason, why does it happen in the first place.
There could be multiple reasons for the same, and those are:
Change in priorities
We all know how People change, people develop. In all these changes and developing environment, friendship fades gradually. Its ok to change.
There are different stages in our life, and there are different requirements, challenges and priorities in our life. For example, we really found it very difficult to live without our mothers when we were small, but now, if we look at our life priorities, it is not the same. Same way, the priorities keep changing, and the worst part is we can’t do anything about it.
You’re stuck with your family, and you’ll prioritize your spouse. But where once you could run over to your bestie’s house at a moment’s notice and see if he could come out to play, now you must ask if your friend has a couple hours to get a drink in two weeks.
Relocation or remote jobs
We change our cities, looking for better jobs, career aspects and growth. This is the time where we focus about our career and friendship takes a back seat. It is not possible for us to keep in touch always because of our time management and busy schedules. Nowadays, with advancing technologies we have flexible options like working from home, this is the time, where it decreases our social engagements as well.
Realization
Some friends are great to have. But they’re also toxic and they try to influence our life in the way they want. There comes a point in life where you finally realize what a bad influence they are on you. And you decide you’re better off without them. Maybe you were best friends, buddies but experiences teach us better than we expected.
Rough times
When we are going through our adulthood, it’s one of the most tough time of our lives. Some of us struggle. Some are lucky. Those who start in the same time, start to get complex. You might think that you are ok with that because your friends are getting there, but you are not because you haven’t. So, you or your friend start to take a different way.
Getting new friends and partners
Life is all about making new friends, trying out different relationships, flings, one-night stands, time pass, complicate relationships and dealing with egoistic friends. In this hustle and bustle, we forget one person: our best friend. That’s where the person is affected, and we are clearly unaware of the fact because we are busy in our own fairylands.
To conclude, I must say that these are very sensitive and critical situations, which should be handled very carefully and with utmost care, otherwise it may result into unnecessary arguments and issues.
We all understand that how painful it is, we need to take it in a mature way. For example, not shouting our personal problems in social media, not creating unnecessary scenes in the public places, not cooperating with one another when the other one needs help.
I know it is not possible to swallow your ego all the time and make things correct every time things go out of the way. It is also not possible all the times because our self-respect won’t allow us to do so.
If you would like to restore the situation, or at least want to give it a try, considering going through my post Let’s try to fix it.
In this best-friend/stranger relationship, let’s not forget the good times that we people had together, when we were good friends, let’s not enable other people to enjoy the situation. Let’s maintain minimum courtesy, and if possible, parting ways mutually so that none of them are affected.
Please let us know, your thoughts and suggestions regarding the same. If you like this post, please like and share the post.
Really meaningful bro.. Plz continue your good work.. We all love you and we are there wd you.
Thank you so much, love you guys…
Interesting post. I have several friends I’ve known for more than thirty years. If I met them today I doubt some would become friends, we’ve all changed so much.
Exactly, we all change somehow or the other.
Some friends are great to have…Some friends are great to leave!! I live remotely so it’s easy for me to keep in touch with only those that are worthy … I guess agging helps with that 2!
Exactly, this is also another perspective. Will cover it the next time for sure.
Thank you so much for sharing this article.I can totally relate,I had some friends that we were inseparable at high school; and if we see each other now,we don’t even say hi.Life really takes people to separate places.
Been there, I felt exactly the same. Thanks for sharing.
I really relate to this article. Thank you for sharing!
You are welcome :)
I remember the day I realised who was once my best friend was now a complete stranger. Nothing happened between us, but we left school and even though we were at the same college, we had different timetables and didn’t have time for each other. By the end of the year, we had given up trying. And that was that.
Been there :) Thanks for sharing.
Thank you very much for this article! I got 2 friends know more than 20 years and now are stranger , so i understand what you mean!
:)
People just need to learn how to control themselves. Sadly, this day in age, with social media – people believe that sharing TOO MUCH is okay, because they can. Sure they can, HOWEVER, it doesn’t always make them look so good!
Yes, exactly…
I agree! Life is all about making friends and experiences. Some friends come and go but all leave a footprint on your life.
so true…
Real friends are really hard to come by. Once you have one take care of that person. :) I have several friends whom I met when I was in primary school.
Thanks for sharing your experience :)
This is so true in many ways and I have experienced this many times. To see it positively, I think losing touch with old friends can be sign of personal growth and transformation, there are also many lessons to be learnt from letting go of relationships which are no longer serving you to be the best that you can be. Thank you for this post, it was a good read :)
Thank you so much for your kind words :)
Interesting read :) I wonder what inspired you to tackle this topic? You’re completely right, the only constant is change. I think it is therefore even more amazing to have some friends who stay close with you for years despite all of the potential “separation” reasons you have mentioned :) they are not many, but they are invaluable :)
Yes, exactly :)
You turned out to be a very good writer….The post was indeed very meaningful…..
hehe :) Thank you so much.
Love this! I’ve had a lot of these situations happen in my life too. Thanks for sharing
Glad you liked the post :)
I so much agree with you!
:)
When reality hits you hard :(
yeah…
OMG! I could totally relate! sometimes I might thinking to control myself when regards about friendship. I miss my friends :(
We all do…. :(
A very interesting post! I really enjoyed reading this :D
Thank you so much for your kind words :)
Nice article on resolving conflict and managing ego. Thanks for this.
You are welcome :)
I mean friendships are important, but love for ones own self is more important, there are a few people that I met in the last year that mean more to me than some people that I known for over 15 years, it’s all part of aging, you get to realize who is good for you and who isn’t, sure it’s hard sometimes, but it needs to be done, better to break off the friendship than to continue something that is bad for yourself.
so true :)
People are always evolving! Its crazy how much relationships with friends grow evolve and change. When I was 18 by best friend moved almost 2,000 miles away and we have still kept in contact and are still close and will visit each other 8 years later. But some people who I thought would be in my life forever are no longer in it; and there was not moving! Just a growing apart.
Yes, you are absolutely right, and I totally understand this situation. Even my best friend lives in another city (1000 miles approx), we are still best friends. The people who are meant to stay, they stay under all circumstances. :)
I think everyone can relate!
Friendships come and go. Some are for a season and others for a lifetime. You made some good points about why it changes and yes, it can be sad to see a friendship end.
Thank you for your kind words :)
Friends go friends come in your life. The ones who are meant to stay with you always remain!!! no matter how far they are, what situation it is !!!
Can’t agree more. :)
Actually, I feel like a lot of my high school friends are now strangers as we grown apart and move away (as I moved far away to a different country). I do still keep in touch with some thanks to FB.
yeah, social media is playing a large part in friendship now-a-days.