The name of the post is kinda weird, right? I thought to make this as the last line but reading the post, you will understand the reason.
Grammar-nazis the heading is not a typo, please move on.
I am in my twenties, so I am not that old, but I think modern day Love is not felt from the heart but calculated with the calculator. I will give you some examples to show why.
The most important question for any boy looking for a long-term commitment or marriage, is how much do you earn? I completely understand that money is one of the most important to live a happy life, oh sorry, luxurious life. People now-a-days are so calculative, that few girls calculate the amount of Alimony she could claim, if she gets divorced LATER. Few Hypocrites (who are against dowry), call it future planning, I call it advanced technique of robbing someone’s hard work and savings.Another important question, that comes up for any girl looking for a long-term commitment or marriage, is what’s your waist size? some Investigators want to know the complete measurements. Well, I am a full-time supporter of gender equality, so the same question comes for the boys, do you have six pack abs? Well, that’s completely personal and I don’t want to comment on that, but the question is even if a boy/girl is having the perfect figure and shape, what’s the guarantee, s/he will be the same after 2 years (in case if you are planning a long-term relationship). The question is, are you looking for a life partner or Ms/Mr World?Next question that comes up for the (Asian) boys, will you stay with your parents after marriage? This question is having a special place in my heart. Some girls will come up with the logic, If I can come to stay with you why not you? The simple answer is, if you want to come, please come to stay after marriage, or simply say a NO, no one is holding a gun to your head for answering yes. But why stay with your partner or debate wasting a whole lot of energy and intelligence (which may be present in negligible amount).
Another important question, for the girls is, can you complete all the house hold work without any help? It is important for the girls to know household work is important but going completely dependent on her after marriage is what is trending now-a-days. Here’s a confusion is that the wife or long-term relationship that they are looking for or some maid for work.Next important question, that comes up is about ex-partners. There are various kind of questions that comes up. It doesn’t matter if you are a girl or boy, you should be ready to face some weird questions which will result in super awkward questions. How many partners did you have, what kind of relationship you had, did you get physical with him/her, why did you leave him/her and all other questions, which is not at all related to the present or future.
Next question that comes up is about a girl’s virginity. Are you a virgin? That’s one of the most common question, you girls have come across and I am pretty sure, that you wanted to punch straight in the face. Hymen is one of the most important part in the relationship. Fuck trust and bonding, those are old school. Hymen is the new trend. I don’t know, if I am the only one who finds it super awkward or even uncomfortable to ask someone I love if the hymen is intact or not. I am still trying to figure out what exactly is the connection between a happy relationship and Hymen. If you guys have the answer, please let me know.
Another important question, that comes up is do you have friends who are of opposite sex? If you are a girl/boy and you are friends with opposite sex, you are fucking screwed and you just ruined your chance in getting settled down with a star-fuck. If you have a best friend from opposite sex, then be ready for an FBI/CBI level of investigation with your partner. Previously I was in such a relationship, and I really know how it feels to be in a questionnaire like this. On top of that, the famous dialogues like, if you are not wrong, you don’t need to worry. Each word that comes out of your mouth is used and will be used against you, till the end of the Universe.Another important question, that comes up is do you go for late night clubbing/parties? This is very important question if you are a girl and you are appearing for this exam or evaluation. If you are up for late night parties and clubbing, you just lose a chance to become a good life partner or a good wife. I have trouble understanding this question as well, what is the link between the life partner qualities and clubbing or partying.
Another important question, that comes up is what about working after marriage? Apparently if you are a girl, you will have to leave your career that you built with your hard work and sweat, why? Because you must prove it to your in-laws that choosing you was the right decision and you are ready to sacrifice anything to prove that you are very good with everything, especially with anything where the boy’s family and their comfort is in question.Now, if you close your eyes, and think logically for a minute, these questions will appear completely out of context, illogical and high level stupid question when comparing with a long-term relationship or marriage. You need to ask yourself are those really needed? But important questions about honesty, commitment are not even considered.
You may call me a time traveler, who traveled from past, but this is what I think: There is something messed up with our generations relationships and marriages. I am no one to judge, but there are not only room for improvements, but you can say a whole there’s place for whole city of improvements.
If you love someone, s/he may be fat, chubby, huge waist, middle or lower case, what does that have to do anything with your commitment? If someone is super rich today, it is not at all guaranteed that same amount of wealth will be there after 5 years, same goes with all the super hit questions. I know these sounds like a lecture or some lines copied from a platonic love poem, but that’s how life is, and the way I love it.
Feeling frustrated to express your point of view, or have you come across of any such questions, which literally made you think Thanos was right? Comments section is open just for you my friend.
Exactly Samar. Now these are the stereotypes of a relationship. Much agreed with You.
Thanks for dropping by dear :)
I never really thought of it being calculated, but I guess you are right. These are the burning questions that people ask nowadays.
True :)
I am of a different culture and much older (42) and have been with my husband for over 20 years. So, so very many things that you think are important when you are younger are so very not once you get older. This was an interesting read, though. I have no idea about the dating world out there for any age, lol!
haha
Don’t worry dear, we will keep you updated :)
Such great points here.. You really had pointed out things that I noticed not so pretty with other people’s perspective when it comes to finding ‘the one..’
Thanks for the kind words :)
These are really deep and thought provoking points that people often fail to consider before they start a relationship that could be life long.
Exactly, the effects are deep and long lasting :)
What an intresting and honest post about how we see relationships now. Yes dating and being in a relationship right now can be a tad exhausting. Guess this is why im still single lol
Haha
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You bring up a lot of great points in this article. A lot of times people never think about these.
Exactly, we need to think about it…
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Haha the title is so weird, but it got me interested to read more. And very nice content. You got great points here.
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It is important to consider so much in a relationship. It does make so much sense to calculate it, as you explained.
Thanks for the kind words :)
Oh I agree with everything you said here. Man or even women have a traditional mindset when it comes to love. But we can’t blame them. If that’s the way they could fall in love to someone, then so be it. But remember, we are all just humans and we cannot choose who we love.
So true.
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I loved this grammar nazi wala line. And you have sort of described modern day issues very accurately.. But haan one thing hypocrites r everywhere.
seriously, these people competing with one another for the highest stupidity grade. lol
Honestly, We asked that question to ourselves before but when you grew up you will realize that relationship isn’t about the material things or the money. It’s a matter of love.
so true…
but some people never grew up (actually they don’t want to)
When people go in a relationship for the wrong things, it will always end the wrong way. A commitment needsto be a commitment for nothing else but love.
So true.
Completely agreed.
Great post! Although money should not be an issue when you’re dating, this is a factor that you need to consider later on in the relationship especially if you have marriage in mind.
Completely agreed, Money is very important. But, I think it shouldn’t be a deciding factor.
Thanks for sharing, relationships can be hard but I believe with work and compromise, we can always have meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
Having said that,relationships today do not tend to stand test of times, we`re too ready to move on to something we think is better.
True.
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Wow interesting and frustrating to see how ‘love’ and relationships are calculated in different cultures!
True.
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The beauty of life is in accepting these stereotypes in our society and still live to share happy tales.
True.
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I find it sad when people go for money over love. I met my husband when we were young, and I loved him for who he was.
That’s exactly how it should work.
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great points. I have a few friends who asks these questions before getting into relationship. I have seen broken homes because of money. I have witnessed broken child who’s parents are with another man/woman (for different reasons) – and it’s kinda frustrating.
It’s very frustrating to know that these things happened only because we look for physical appearance, outside beauty or money in dealing with love.
True.
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Love the way you put down these points.Humorous yet each of them valid .
This is a very insightful commentary. A great follow up would be to find people form other cultures and have them write the same article. A whole blog could be written like that .
Thanks Amy and Sudipa :)
These seem like critically important questions when considering entering into any relationship. Important, but not often considered.
I’ve been married for almost 7 years and if he ever were to ask me my waist size I’d have to end him – but you’re right things are very different now! I have friends who use dating apps and I’m like I would NEVER make if it I had to do that. It’s too wild now!
not only wild, but its called shamelessness.
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Exactly haha
red flags of modern dating. it’s funny how relationships these days are formed and retained. But yeah, whatever makes them happy!
True,
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Now that you raised this up. I get your point. A different perspective really. I agree with you that most people have this without them knowing it lol
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While I have never been asked most of those questions, I see how these are things people are concerned about.
True
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What an interesting interpretation of what we’re constantly calculating when we’re in a relationship or after a relationship. It’s funny how everything works in numbers.
completely agreed.
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It’s nice that you even pointed out about the household chores. Yup so true. Men often think that if they get a wife, they’ll also get to have an all around house maid. Lol.
completely agreed.
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I agree that the title is weird but after readng the post, it’s time to think of your realizations in a relationship. I’ve been through some of the points there. Number works in relathionship but it a nice way :)
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Wow this was a really thought provoking post, dating is so hard these days. I don’t know how people do it. You’ve offered a really different perspective on relationships. It’s as if dating someone is about formulating a list of characteristics that you’re looking for. Relationships don’t seem to be organic and romantic, everything just feels like a job interview.
completely agreed.
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I agree with this one. Relationship is not only about being in love. It is a commitment. It has sacrifices, obligations, and it’s a give and take.
completely agreed.
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I agree with you so much. Men you should know that they are not looking for for super models or maid, if they want a marriage.
What an interesting take on modern relationships! Thanks for sharing
You are welcome.
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I think if I was ever asked, or heard someone ask any of these questions I’d be shocked. Surely romance is more than a bank balance or waist size?
Exactly, These things are apparently more important than love.
Interesting points you have in there!…I’ts a great read on modern day relationships..Calculating is surprisingly true..when the person in love also thinks outside of their feelings and start to consider the reality of the world…thanks for sharing your thoughts!!…
You’re welcome.
Thanks for dropping by.
Practical points raised. In fact the people raising these questions don’t really understand the meaning of relation. Too materialistic people and yes too calculative. God help them.
Completely agreed Kuntala.
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