I was 20 years old when I met my first love. His name was Billy. He had blonde spiky hair and wore a blue button-up shirt every day. I used to wait for him in the mornings by his locker, and then walk together to class. My heart would melt every time he smiled at me during Maths or Science, but I never had the guts to go up to him and open about my love for him.

One day we were playing basketball outside during lunch break when Billy asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him after school. My stomach turned upside down and my heart melted. Even though my cheeks blushed, I acted normal and said yes. Because it was love at first sight for me the moment I saw him and I never thought he noticed me the same way as I did.

The day passed by so slowly that I felt like the day would never end, but it did end and Billy came to pick me up from school. I wore a pink dress and a blue cardigan, with white socks and my brown leather shoes. However, he did not notice the flower I held in my hand for him. We just drove to a diner and ate steak and potatoes that he had paid for. I felt like a princess. Suddenly he started asking me about my best friend Jenny. He asked if she liked him, I was backed for a moment and I said yes because she did like him. He asked me to find out if she wanted to go on a date with him the next day. I was sitting all broken from inside, not knowing how to react in this situation. All I knew in that moment was that love was not love if it could be given or taken away. It is love when you just want the best for them, and do not expect anything in return.

I was in love with love and thought it would last forever.

 

I put my heart and soul into loving him, even though he did not love me back. I wrote his name with mine all over my notebooks and got so upset. I was thinking the whole event that happened that day.

I was so excited when he drove me to my favourite place that night because I had never felt love before; all my other crushes seemed childish. After we finished our meal, we walked outside until we reached the parking lot, after all that conversation happened inside the restaurant I wanted to burst out into tears but was holding it all so he does not know what I felt for him . He opened his car door, but before I could get in, he again said I love Jenny so much and I am excited to meet her tomorrow what do you say? will my date go well. I said you are a gentleman Billy; any girl would fall for you.

He was wearing a white shirt with brown trousers, and I still remember how handsome he looked. The flower I held in my hand wilted during the walk to the cinema, but that did not bother me at all because I was broken into a hundred pieces in a moment and my mind was just blank.

Not all love stories have a happy ending, though. Billy did love me back, maybe not as I wanted him to love me, but love was love after all.

Before I knew it, 2 years had passed and I got a job offer in another state. I met him once a while, the last time we met, he told me that he would have been happy to have me around forever, you are the only best friend I have in town, but now that was not an option for me anymore.

He was there on my last day in town, holding a bouquet and pleading with me to stay with tears in his eyes. But I had to leave Billy and his memories that was crushing me. Billy never called again after that day, and neither did I, and 3 years passed by until I heard about his death. From a mutual friend, I found out he died of a heroin overdose at the age of 25. I was shocked Billy is no more, I was sad. He was happy with Jenny when I left, what could have happened that Billy got addicted to drugs and ended his life. I cried for days because deep inside I still loved him.

My first love was lost. My first love will always be my last love.