When things start falling apart, there’s a certain point in our life where we start to think that we are not good enough. We start to get lot of negative thoughts about us, about what we have achieved so far. We start to feel helpless and completely miserable.
Here are the 10 things, which you consider doing to improve the situation and feeling good about yourself…
Stop the comparison game.
“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle, or your middle to someone else’s end. Don’t compare the start of your second quarter of life to someone else’s third quarter.”
― Tim Hiller, Strive: Life is Short, Pursue What Matters
We have heard people advising not to compare ourselves with each other and yet we do it. I completely understand that
We should stop this stupid comparison game as soon as possible. This won’t do any good to us. Instead of comparison, we should motivate each other, so that everyone wins, without losing mind.
Remind yourself what you have achieved.
If you are thinking that you are not good enough, think what you have completed and achieved till now. Remember the college degrees, job that you have got, happiness that you gave to your family and loved ones, it is no less than an achievement. Whenever you are in such low position in your life, just imagine where you started and how far you got, it will give you the correct evaluation of your worth and hard work that you did.
Stop over thinking or over analyzing things.
We all play every situation in our mind multiple times, to make sure that things should turn our way, or how can we make better. We tend to analyze everything multiple times, whereas in real life we do fail some of the times, which leaves a very deep scar psychologically, most importantly in this process we forget to live our life. It is very important that we should stop overthinking or analyzing us.
Negativity needs to put out of that little heart.
Sometimes keeping quiet doesn’t help us, it adds up pressure and makes up like a pressure cooker. We need to speak to someone and let it vent out everything that we have it inside us. I know the traditional rule book prohibits us not to put out anger and venom outside, but I don’t think that does any help to our ownself. We should let it out sometimes.
Choose a friend very carefully to share your flaws.
You should be very careful in sharing things, especially your problems. The most probable chances are that people are going to make fun of you, or their ego will be boosted seeing that you got the problem in the first place. But once you get them. Whenever we are weak or about to fail, we look for a person to lean on. Make sure you are sharing those with a person, whom you really trust not just in the weak moments.
Try finding what are you good at.
People will say and would love, if you believe that you are not good enough. It will be a good show for them to watch. Take out sometime for yourself and try to figure, what exactly you like doing, maybe you are good at that. More than me, you will be a better person to judge what you are good at. You can’t give up on that. Go ahead and work on the things that you like to do with full energy. You will get yourself back on the track.
Focus on the Process Than on the Results
When we start something or in the middle of something, there are lot of new things that we learn, not only which is important for that time, may be for longer time. Our target shouldn’t be only the result but also the lessons that we learnt along with the process of getting it. Even we fail, we will learn something, which will be helpful in the long run. I understand that it is very hard pursuing it, as we are living in a result-oriented world.
Stop living for anyone else’s expectations.
We are social animals and we often do things to please our dear and near ones. There’s a limit for everything. We get so much into impressing others, we often forget that we have our own plans, ambitions, or whatever we call it. This should not be the case. We should be living our life on someone else’s terms even if it makes them happy or the only reason, they want to be with us. It should not be conditional.
Stop comparing with Social media Influenza’s…. sorry Influencers.
This is slowly becoming a disease in this social media world. I don’t have any problem in uploading a picture online, but putting it to build a false figure online, is completely useless. For example, showing cleavage, legs and unnecessary dirt to build an image, which is completely different from the real world. I have no problem with these kinds of pictures, honestly, I love looking at them, but this creates an unnecessary tension and inferiority complex, which later adds up to something on a psychological. I have a special hate for this species. For example:
On top of that we have tech giants are tracking our search engines for commercial purpose, there are high chance, that you might have across t-shirts with “I am not good enough quotes” which they are trying very hard to sell, it will add up to your loneliness, as you get more vulnerable.
Start appreciating life instead of criticizing it.
There are so many things that are happening in our life. Some are good and some are bad. We should start appreciating the good things that happen to us. We should be happy that we have a place to live, meals to eat, a well-paying job and loving family members. The amount of thoughts we put up to cope up with negative things, if we give only 10-20% of that to the good things, we will be lot happier.
Let’s see, what others think of this situation:
Samar says,
Firstly, I would like to know the story of his/her struggle through career, relationship, family and would get to realize what is bothering them from the inside skull! I would tell them how they are different and best in their own ways. I wouldn’t only tell them these, I would come up with the things they’ve done so that along with me, they will understand that they matter for their own existence. I would ask them, if they remember anyone has laughed just because of their presence? If say yes, I would point out that there they matter! None can be ‘Good for nothing/not good enough’.
One thing I would advise them to leave forever is the group of people who have ever given a hint or have tried to drag them down. Staying with an optimistic with a non-judgmental helps a lot to build another’s character. It’s a vibe. Contagious. It spreads amongst all like the velocity of light.
What they need to do is to choose people correctly to hang out, to mix up, to be a friend and need to build a belief system that cannot be kneaded by the useless creatures in human form.
Antara says,
I think this feeling comes from over expectations. There must be some issues lies within, which creates the fear of competency in a relationship.
In this case, I think you need to make the other person feeling loved. You need to make him/her feel that you are the most favorite person around and gain the confidence back into relationship. Some people are not very expressive with their thoughts, overcoming fear. But I feel everyone can understand the language of love. You need to take a step and make that person believe that he/she is the one, make them feel good about the relationship. The small differences, opposite thoughts are only to complete the relationship.
Remember,
You’re worthy
As I said you are important, very important. If you don’t trust me, ask the most important person in your life: your parents, they will explain how important you are.
So, let me reiterate it once again, you are not only good enough, you are one of the best.
so influential post, be more inspired Samar and have a nice day.
Thank you so much.
Have a nice day :)
Hey Samar…. Very good read! The only thing as per my experience, accept n go ahead! It’s okay sometimes to be upset, but then smile and see further
So true Usha,
Thanks for dropping by :)
The comparison game is a deadly and silent killer. If we are not careful it can paralyze us!
So true, we waste a lot of time in this envious competition, which needs to be stopped.
Thanks for dropping by :)
I remind my coaching clients of this often; stop the compaison game. I’ve found that setting goals each quarter really helps to show me all that I’ve achieved over the months.
Nice to hear that Alexis.
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Stopping the comparison game can be much easier said than done. But yes, I totally agree.
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Overthinking is the WORST!!! We all need to stop that ASAP!
Completely agreed.
Thanks for dropping by.
Loved reading your post.Very inspiring and motivational. In fact it is so good to spread out the messages to every single individual in this world. I liked your effort in doing that. We have one life and we must do our best to make it wonderful.
Thank you so much for your kind words. We both are doing the same thing. I must say, you are doing equally an important job in your blogs.
Peace ✌️
Thanks for dropping by.
Very well said! I couldn’t agree more. It’s always good to remind ourselves of our great achievements no matter how minuscule.
Yes, exactly.
People always forget what they have accomplished and focus on what they couldn’t.
Thanks for dropping by.
I adore this really feel-good blog post. Everyone has doubts about what they’re capable of, and I think that your suggestions will go a long way and getting folks back on the right track. Thank you!
I am glad that I was able to motivate.
Thanks for your kind words and dropping by.
Well, this is EXACTLY the post that I needed to read at this very moment. Thanks for putting this out there and sharing some positivity with the world
You are welcome Christopher. Please feel free to drop by, whenever you want….
Have a nice day ahead.
You are very inspired in writing Samar! This post is really have a real meaning in life. Thanks for tips how to conquer negativity! You motivated my day Thanks!
Thank you so much for your kind words and dropping by.
Such a good message here! Thank you so much for the reminder!
I am not only good enough, I am one of the best. Thank you Samar!
I know I have to constantly remind myself of this. Negative critics come from all directions. The problem, however, is the critic inside of us.
Thanks for the reminder!
You’re welcome, and yes, you are the best.
Thank you so much for your kind words and dropping by.
So important to stop comparing to others! I think it’s quite easy in this world of social media to look at other people’s lives and wonder why we don’t have what they have. We just need to remember that they have different goals from us!
So true, this comparison game just adds up to the stress level and anxiety. Nothing good comes out of it.
Love these tips.. I often read these tips from blogs that I used to read but it’s so nice to read things like these again, just to remind myself to just be contented. Great blog..!
Thank you so much for your kind words and dropping by.
I think when we feel this way it’s because we compare our personal and career achievements and material possessions to those of our peers and feel that we have somehow not measured up to our perceived potential. At least that was how I felt 20 years ago when I declined to attend a school reunion. Many things have changed in the years since and in hindsight I now appreciate my achievements at that time.
Glad that you were able to make it.
Thanks for dropping by.
I really had a great time reading your article and you are definitely giving us a good tips that will help us to appreciate ourselves that criticizing it, thanks for sharing this with us.
I love the thoughts you have written here, social media influenzas, first time I’ve read about this joke here.
You have a really good message here in your post.
I think that comparing our life to others is the biggest mistake one can do. Each of us is at a different point in the journey, each of us had harder or easier paths to cross, so comparing is pointless, it will only bring us down.
This reminds of the line from the Baz Luhram song. “Don’t waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead. Sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end it’s only with yourself.”
This is what I needed right now. I always over think things and it’s worse in my head, then it really is. Thank you for the uplifting post x
Laura
A powerful message and a helpful one. Stopping the comparison with others is a huge for every one of us.
Very motivational and timely. We live in a time where suicides are at its highest in years and mental illness is widespread throughout the country among ALL demographics. This post has content that we can ALL benefit from. Thanks for sharing.
I have a special someone who undergo depression and this is something he should read. Thanks for sharing.
i agree on the stop the comparing game. we tend to be so envious of other’s fortune that we miss the opportunities coming our way.
Exactly.
Thanks you so much for dropping by.
Love these tips..! I will definitely keep this blog and re read them whenever I don’t feel so positive.. ?
This is a great article, Samar, as always. Skillfully written, easy to read and uplifting by its nature. You manage to put together the best practices.
Thanks you so much for your kind words and dropping by.
I enjoyed reading this so much! That is a true thing about social media. It is really becoming a disease and many people are becoming hooked to it, they are being influenced.
Yes, but we have to keep up with the world.
Thanks you so much for dropping by.
Best way to get on track is to find out what are you good at. Thanks for sharing amazing tips with us
You’re welcome.
Thanks you so much for your kind words and dropping by.
love this topic! every single one of them is such an important tips. Thanks so much for sharing
You’re welcome.
Thanks you so much for your kind words and dropping by.
I often overthink situations- it’s a habit I really need to stop doing. Thanks for sharing these great tips.
Don’t worry about that, we all do it at some point in our life.
Thanks you so much for your kind words and dropping by.
I can completely agree with one of these. I went through all these to get where I am today.
Thanks you so much for dropping by.
Great post! Wise and motivating, fills me with energy and joy! wonderful!
Thanks you so much for your kind words and dropping by.
I have a little gremlin that likes to hold me back in life and honestly it is so hard not to listen to it sometimes. But these tips are extremely helpful. I will definitely being trying a few out
Yes, definitely. Do let us know how it goes.
Thanks for dropping by
Excellent tips! I particularly liked the one about not comparing yourself with others because we are all doing the best we can even if the results or circumstances are very different.
Completely agreed. We should stop this comparison game, as soon as possible.
Thanks for dropping by.
I don’t know how easy are these steps to follow when you are really low..
Of course, It’s not that easy to follow anything when you are such low, but the point is, you have to be strong. There is no other option.
Thanks for dropping by.
Really great info on when you don’t feel worthy. I always say it is good to have a good circle rather a large circle so the good circle will always be encouraging
Completely agreed. Friends are the best part, and they can genuinely help us in such low times.
Thanks for dropping by.
Such a great post! Whenever negative thoughts grip me, I try to remind myself about my achievements and the things that I am good at. But honestly it’s not that easy!
Nothing is easy Ana, but I am sure, you are really a strong girl.
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There’s nothing like living for yourself. I try to remind myself of this daily.
Yes, that’s a very good habit.
Thanks for dropping by.
I’ve had instances where I over-thought on a certain situation. This only made things worse.
True, Over thinking doesn’t help at all. On the other hand it increases the stress and anxiety.
The necessity to stay online 24×7 so you can build your following is slowly draining the life out of us. We have no time for family, no time to do something outside and definitely no time to relax. I totally agree with you and have started taking multiple breaks from social media in a year so I can rejuvenate.
Stop the comparison game. That’s really important for us to understand.